My psychic abilities...

So, I wanted to tell you about my new found psychic abilities. Crazy... I know...but listen to this.

So I have a contact at one of the vendors I use for work- her name is Chris. On Monday night, I had this weird dream. Chris sent out this really funny weird email and in it she announces she was pregnant. I dont really remember what else the email said, but found it strange that she had thrown in, sort of off the cuff, that she was pregnant. So I wake up yesterday morning, think about the dream, think it was kind of strange... but then forgot about it.

This morning, I happen to get an email from Chris saying that she is out of the office today and will not be able to make our standing monthly conference call. So I email her back-- thanking her for letting me know and I proceed to tell her about the funny dream I had about her.

Umm... yeah... she just called me. She is 9 weeks pregnant! Now I am totally weirded out about this for a few of reasons:
1. I maybe talk to Chris once or twice a month-- why she was randomly in my dream-- I have NO idea.
2. I never see Chris (she is in Houston)- so it is not like we have ever had pregnancy/baby conversations or such. It's not even like I could have seen abnormal behavior (eating crackers, running to the bathroom, etc.) and suspected.
and
3. I have had stuff like this happen to me before and it ALWAYS freaks me out.

So... I am just waiting to have a dream about myself having a baby and we will be all set!! :)

Thermometer Grave Yard

Well... I have decided to put my basal thermometer to rest. When we really started focusing on trying to get pregnant- I started taking my temperature daily and recording it. Your temps are supposed to dictate where you are in your cycle and when you are most fertile. The issue with temping is that you have to do it first thing after you wake up---before you even get up to pee. And it is supposed to be after 4 solid hours of sleep. Oh, and another requirement...try to take your temp around the same time daily.

Easy right?

Well... it became pretty consuming for me. If I woke at 3am-- I had to have a mental debate with my self...do I take my temp now...or can I get up and pee and sleep 4 more hours? Have I already been sleeping 4 hours? What if I only sleep 3 hours-- will I have to discard this temp? Umm...yeah... mental debates in the middle of the night... don't always go well. I have fallen asleep with the thermometer in my mouth... woken up and wondered what the hell I was doing! Dropped the thermometer when trying to reach for it with my eye's closed. Trying to feel around for it on the floor--in the dark...without having to get out of bed.

Okay...I digress...I am putting the thermometer to bed...hopefully forever! Just wanted to share the moment with you!!

What my nightstand typically looks like...

The Graveyard... yes... i have more than 1 thermometer...

Goodnight... FOREVER!!!

.

n WAHOO!!!! (and that is all I am going to say about that!)

Phew...sigh of relief

So I told my boss today about what was going on. Normally I wouldn't share something like this with my boss...but considering the # of appts. I will have over the next couple months... I thought it would be important. When we had our consult with the Dr. I believe he said I would have 13 visits! 13! That is a lot and considering the clinic is an hour and a half away... it will never be a quick trip.

Anyway... she was really great! I was an emotional mess (thanks for that gene mom!) and she quickly calmed me down. Told me to take the time I needed and to take the time and focus on what I was doing. I assured her I would schedule my appts. first thing in the a.m. and always be available via cell. Again...told me not to worry about it. I have to say-- it lifts some weight off my shoulders. This is all very emotional and stressful and knowing that I have the support of my boss- gives me one less thing to stress about!

Now it is just a waiting game. I am expecting I will have to go to Shreveport for my 1st blood work either on Sunday or Monday. That is what is going to get this whole ball rolling!! Of course...the blood work is dependant on when my "Aunt Flo" comes... so come on Auntie!! ha! I will have never have been so excited to get my period before!! hehehe....

A Little Lesson...

I have decided to back up a step and give an overview of what IVF is. Since most of those that I am going to share this blog with have never experience infertility-- I want to back up so that you have an idea as to what the heck I am talking about! :)

I guess the best way explain what IVF is-- is to just give you the definition-- I think it pretty much sums it up (well...good enough for now anyway ;) ):

In vitro fertilization^[1] (IVF) is a technique in which egg cells are fertilised by sperm outside the woman's womb, in vitro. IVF is a major treatment in infertility when other methods of assisted reproductive technology have failed. The process involves hormonally controlling the ovulatory process, removing ova (eggs) from the woman's ovaries and letting sperm fertilise them in a fluid medium. The fertilised egg (zygote) is then transferred to the patient's uterus with the intent to establish a successful pregnancy.

Doesn't it sound really fun???? Can't wait... seriously...I can't! :)

I hope that helps...

And we have a plan...

Holy crap! We have a plan!

Gary and I met with Dr. Vandermolen at The Center for Fertility and Reproduction today. It was an all day event. We left the house at 8am for our 11am appt. I was afraid to be late! Ha! We got down to Shreveport plenty early, had breakfast at IHop and then headed over to the clinic. We got there super early and I thought it would be a good thing. Well... we were still sitting in the waiting room at noon. Note to self-- getting there early does us no good.

Dr. Vandermolen was a nice guy. Spent lots of time going over our medical history, current history and past tests/ procedures. We were armed with it all. :) I think he was a little surprised! Based on Gary's numbers he suggested that we do IVF with ICSI. Basically this the IVF where they inject the sperm right into the egg-- therefore increasing the chance for fertilizing (which is the goal).

So... it is a 6 week prep period which includes everything from blood work, birth control pills (regulate the hormones), daily injections, ultrasounds and eventually the egg retrieval. It really is all very amazing and this clinic has pretty standard success rates. I have done research and they are tied for 1st in success rates in the State of LA-- so that is good!

So... if all goes well... Baby Robinson will be here with us at this time next year! :)

What god meant when he gave me infertility...

I was on "The Nest" today (a message board I frequently visit) and a "nestie" who is also having trouble trying to conceive posted this...and I just thought it was very fitting (she is not sure where it came from-- so neither am I):

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
"I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
"No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.
"Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
"While I would never choose infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

Yay! Only one more week!

So back in September...Gary and I joined a bowling league. I hadn't bowled in years, but thought...what the heck-- give us something to do on Thursday nights. Both Gary's brother and Granddad also bowled in this league--so for Gary it was a good opportunity to see his family each week.

Okay...so back to the point where I said this league started in September... 32 weeks! That is how long this league was... 32 LONG weeks! We had fun... but the bowling alley is in Shreveport...which is over an hour from our house. Getting there wasn't too bad...but the ride home...generally torture! Anyways... next week is our last week!!! Wahoo!! Too bad next week-- we have to make the drive to Shreveport 3 times... Monday for our Dr.'s appt, Thursday for our last night of bowling and again on Friday for the bowling awards banquet. Don't get me wrong...i don't think we are getting any awards...but we may get some money. Not sure how much they pay out to the 25 out of 30 seed team...but if it covers our gas... we will be happy!

I better stop complaining about the drive to Shreveport b/c if we start IVF... some weeks I will have to make multiple trips for monitoring and tests. Of course...those trips... i wont mind one bit!!! :)

Getting Ready

Well... I have decided to start a blog. A blog about our struggle with infertility.

Why you ask?

Well...I have read many blogs that are written by strong women who are dealing with this awful situation. I have found hope in many of their postings and I have seen the support they have received from family, friends and strangers... some who can relate and some who cant.

The blogging world is amazing... I have followed several women's stories from the beginning stages of IF to adoption to miscarriages to birth and multiple birth. Each story is unique and I learn a little (many times alot) something from each one. Even if no one takes something away from my blog... I will have our story documented to show our future children! Hopefully they will see how very much we wanted them and worked hard for them!!

So... about us getting ready... we have our first appointment with the Reproductive Endocrinologist on Monday! I am so excited, anxious and very nervous! I have no idea what this doctor is going to say to us. I have all our medical records for the past 4 years. Gary's is a book! ha! I have call all the dr. offices that have done tests on us in the past and asked for a copy of those records... I am really hoping our new dr. doesnt want to repeat the tests.

Send good thoughts...