As I have said before- I belong to a message board that specifically focuses on Trouble Trying to Conceive. This week has seemed to be really really bad. A lot of women testing negative and it is heartbreaking. I have somewhat distanced myself from reading the board for a couple of reasons. The posts about positives-- while exciting-- were making me sadder and sadder for me and Gary. The posts about negatives-- constant reminders of that raw emotion I felt after the failed IVF. It sucks! While I am excited and overjoyed for those that have "graduated" to the Success after Infertility board---I almost feel left behind. I long for my graduation and all emotions that come with that!
Just the simple point that some of us who want to be mommies so badly have to wait years for those moments-- not fair! The idea that we have to experience bad, sad, angry and bitter feelings about anything to do with getting pregnant (an occasion that should only be happy and exciting)--not fair!
My other "not fair" moment- I went to the vet today to pick up Tanner's heart worm medicine. As I am in the waiting room-- a dad comes in with his 2 kids who had clearly been crying. I thought maybe their pet was in the hospital and passed away. Then I noticed that the dad was carrying the pet. I think it was a puppy- i heard him say "7 weeks old". The kids were sobbing. Heartbroken. I literally teared up. Family pets dying--not fair!
Some days just seem so negative. Hard to find a ton of things to be happy and excited about. I know eventually it will change...but some days the "not fair's" just seem to be so in your face!
2 comments:
I am right there with you. I love when one of "us" is successful, but it is such a reminder of how broken my body is!
There is no other way to explain it than life's just not fair!
big hugs. I too was on a messege board after having my first m/c and even tho you're happy to hear of others getting that + it's also just too much to handle sometimes.
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